"So there are Oliphaunts. But no one at home will ever believe me."
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With Perhaps a nice Chianti?

This letter from a clinically diagnosed psychopath reveals their simple hopes and dreams, and, perhaps unconsciously, confesses so much more: “My initial forays into therapy did not go well. Overwhelmed with mistrust, concerned at being manipulated, and uncomfortable with the idea of being ‘managed’ rather than ‘cured’, I left on multiple occasions for some periods of time. After chewing through several therapists, the director of the agency finally took me on herself, and to our mutual surprise we got along extremely well.”

Judging by the comments I’m the only person who read that and spewed coffee all over the keyboard and monitor.

Perhaps the two had similar tastes.

(Via Hacker News.)

October 12, 2011   Comments Off

Bill Clinton wants you to remember his achievements…

… and then he gets this lousy ad juxtaposition. Can’t catch a break. From Bill Clinton wants more credit – James Hohmann – POLITICO.com

Not a targeted ad, I’ve never seen it before and I don’t smoke or search for cigars online.

(Via Drudge.)

October 1, 2011   Comments Off

Portable Document Philes

Overheard:

“How do you change a pedophile?”

“What?”

“I have something that I need to make changes to. A pedophile.”

“Ahhh… I’m not sure what you mean?”

“You know, these pedophiles? Or what do you call them? PD files?”

“Oh. You mean Adobe Reader files? Like PDF?”

“Yes, yes. Pedophiles.”

Beware, the PD Bear.

May 20, 2010   Comments Off

Roger that

Toronto woman sues Rogers after her affair is exposed – thestar.com

Rogers probably did screw up here, but their actions obviously are the proximate cause of the husband leaving. What I like about this though is the histrionic protest, “I didn’t deserve to lose my life!”

And… you didn’t. So that worked out.

Case dismissed, Toronto woman.

May 18, 2010   Comments Off

Thatcher in the wry

I have a few chores to take care of tonight. I’ll simply leave this hilarious anecdote from Christopher Hitchens about Margaret Thatcher as excerpted by the neo-neocon:

…[T]he Tories were having a reception in the House of Lords in order to launch a crusty old book by a crusty old peer named Lord Butler, and there was a rumor that the new female leader of the Conservative Party would be among those present for the cocktails. I had written a longish article for The New York Times Magazine, saying in effect that, if Labour could not revolutionize British society, then the task might well fall to the right. I had also written a shorter piece for the New Statesman, reporting from the Conservative Party conference and saying in passing that I thought Mrs. Thatcher was surprisingly sexy. (To this day, I have never had so much anger mail, saying, in effect, “How could you?”) I felt immune to Mrs. Thatcher in most other ways…

Almost as soon as we shook hands on immediate introduction, I felt that she knew my name and had perhaps connected it to the socialist weekly that had recently called her rather sexy. While she struggled adorably with this moment of pretty confusion, I felt obliged to seek controversy and picked a fight with her on a detail of Rhodesia/Zimbabwe policy. She took me up on it. I was (as it happened) right on the small point of fact, and she was wrong. But she maintained her wrongness with such adamantine strength that I eventually conceded the point and even bowed slightly to emphasize my acknowledgment. “No,” she said. “Bow lower!” Smiling agreeably, I bent forward a bit farther. “No, no,” she trilled. “Much lower!” By this time, a little group of interested bystanders was gathering. I again bent forward, this time much more self-consciously. Stepping around behind me, she unmasked her batteries and smote me on the rear with the parliamentary order paper that she had been rolling into a cylinder behind her back. I regained the vertical with some awkwardness. As she walked away, she looked over her shoulder and gave an almost imperceptibly slight roll of the hip while mouthing the words “Naughty boy!”

I had and have eyewitnesses to this. At the time, though, I hardly believed it myself. It is only from a later perspective, looking back on the manner in which she slaughtered and cowed all the former male leadership of her party and replaced them with pliant tools, that I appreciate the premonitory glimpse—of what someone in another context once called “the smack of firm government”—that I had been afforded. Even at the time, as I left that party, I knew I had met someone rather impressive. And the worst of “Thatcherism,” as I was beginning by degrees to discover, was the rodent slowly stirring in my viscera: the uneasy but unbanishable feeling that on some essential matters she might be right.

(From “Political change: Hitchens encounters Margaret Thatcher as dominatrix“, via neocon.)

May 9, 2010   Comments Off